To solve self-esteem problems you must find the causes of low self
esteem. Those causes seem to be mistakes made in the past.
Though this sounds quite logical we have to be aware of the fact that
the past is nothing more than a memory, a very personal wiring in the
brain. It is in no way permanent, although in many cases it looks like.
This moment is the only time available to change those subjective connections between braincells. Now is the point of power, the only point.
So although it is very interesting to focus on past events they never ever can be an excuse for not taking responsibility for change. You can't blame anyone or any circumstance for you suffering low self esteem. So with every cause you may find ask yourself immediately 'so what?' And next, move on to eliminate what is holding you back.
Next you'll find some major causes of low self esteem. Remember, whatever happens in the past it can be changed in the present to have it's impact in the future. Your power is now.
Most important causes of low self esteem:
When children grow up in an environment without love and affection they tend to feel unworthy and insignificant. It is hard to trust people or socialize.
Low self esteem could be caused by negative experiences. Children are very open to all kinds of negativity around them. They don't have the filters or judgmental capacity yet to keep the dirt out of their minds.
Their seems to be a connection between physical appearance and self esteem feelings. But it is not the appearance itself that lowers self esteem rather than the criticizing of the environment and subsequently the interpretation of those critics related to one's worth. Many beautiful people suffer low self esteem because they focus on everything in their appearance that they think don't fit the high standards of everyone around them.
Besides judgements about appearances, parents, teachers, friends and family can be extremely judgemental about approximately every aspect of a young child's life. And the kid tends to believe everything it is told. It's those believes that shape one's destiny. It is easy to pull a child down.
It's clear that the way we are treated by others makes us conclude we are either valuable or worthless. Abuse in every kind of way is an extreme way to destroy a child's self esteem. In many cases the root of the abuse is also low self esteem. In this sense low self esteem seems to be rather contagious and it is extremely important to break this chain
In each and every case of these causes of low self esteem I like to say 'so what?' It is so easy, especially when you are allready uncertain about your capabilities and worth, to not taking responsibility for your life because you fit into one or more of these categories. But blaming others or circumstances will only make things worse.
Seeing yourself as the ultimate cause of whatever happens in your life, knowing you are in charge and got the power, is the only way to ultimately build a strong and stable self esteem, and the life of your dreams.There are many examples of people who would certainly match the criteria of the causes of low self esteem by being abused and critisized, who have taken responsibility and turned their lives around into success and happiness. One of the extreme examples of course is Oprah Winfrey. Take responsibility for your life. It's the only way to make it.