I have found six low self esteem signs. There can be many more but those are the most important and most obvious. Low self esteem is the main obstacle for a happy and succesful life.
Do you recognize them and if, can you do something about it? Here I'll give you some clues.
Low self esteem signs:
1. Blaming others:
This one really is the number one symptom of low self-esteem. And it is costing you. When you're blaming others you say that you are not capable of changing your situation. You are a victim without any power. Others have to fix it because it's their fault.
I used to complain a lot. I had all the arguments why I was right and they were wrong but it brought me nothing.
I see a lot of students and teachers in school where I teach complaining and it doesn't take them any further. The harder you grumble the less you achieve.
The fact is that you are responsible for every aspect of your life. You might not know how but you yourself are the source and cause of your life's circumstances.
So stop complaining and take that responsibility. Take your power back, recover this low self esteem sign and move ahead.
2. Not expressing your feelings:
Another one of the low self esteem signs: Instead of expressing your feelings you suppress them. You don't want to feel the pain so you try to ignore your feelings all together. But it is like shutting off your navigation system. Your feelings are the result of your thoughts and they tell you in which direction you're heading. Do you have brave, encouraging, positive, faithful thoughts leading you to your goals or are those thoughts merely characterized by fear and worry taking you away from what you want.
E-motions are energy in motion. When you suppress them they won't flow and you will feel stuck, blocked or even get sick.
When you don't let your feelings out people around you won't know what's going on with you so they are not able to focus on your needs. And you won't get some feedback from them either. By the way, don't confuse expressing feelings with blaming others. The difference lies in the responsibility taken or not.
Decide to be brave and express your feelings. It is the only way to learn who you are and what you want. It's also the only way to let others know.
3. Always being busy:
This low self esteem sign is closely related to the "not expressing your feelings"-sign. By always being busy you don't have to look at your underlying self esteem issues and challenges. Often times people with low self-esteem issues keep busy so that they don't have to deal with feelings that they don't want to experience.
Are you a do-er who is constantly busy but not truly happy? What are you trying to suppress with your "busy-ness".
Take some time off to really think or meditate and become aware. There are some good exercises that mildly force you to take a look at your feelings with the purpose to change the underlying issues of low self esteem.
4. Depending on others for self-acceptance:
This is another important low self esteem sign. It is hard to feel good about yourself when this feeling is dependent on what you think others might think about you.
I once had a student who was applying for an elementary teaching certificate. She did an outstanding job in her study. But at the end of the year she got an assessment with some teachers who did not know her. She almost failed and was very disappointed. She did not deserve a vacation, had to work hard to make it better and most of all felt very bad about herself.
But you can never do well this way. People's opinions vary widely and change all the time. Someone thinks you are the best while another tells you you're no good. And the fact is when you accept yourself for who you are you'll become aware that others do too. The world is mirroring your believes about yourself. It all starts with you and not with the other.
So start telling yourself that you are okay and look for the evidence of that fact. You will find that others start to do the same. Acceptance really is the first essential step to grow
5. Physical appearance as if hiding:
This low self esteem sign is very evident because you can see it immediately on the outside. However, when it concerns yourself it is less obvious.
People walk with their head down and avoid eye contact as if they are hiding for other people being afraid to show themselves. Mostly they speak with an uncertain and soft tone of voice.
There is a perfect connection between thoughts, feelings and physical behaviour/appearance. Although at the source it all starts with thoughts, you can change your feelings or appearance and the others will change too.
Feel the difference when you put up your head and shoulders when walking. Notice what is going on inside when you speak with a strong voice.
Stop hiding yourself. You're worth to be seen. Put your head up and look the other in the eyes. Decide that what you say is worthwile and you don't have to count this low self esteem sign to yourself.
6. Lacking personal boundaries:
This low self esteem symptom is very much connected to the "depending on others" one. It's about not knowing how to say no. People may not like you when you say no at their request.
It also has to do with mixing up your own problems and those of other people. You don't have to solve someone-else's difficulties. It's their responsibility. Have you ever thought of the fact that you might rip them off from a possibility to grow. Though of course you might give them a hand you do not have to feel obliged.
Your needs are important. When you don't take your needs into account the end result will be that you're not able to meet anyone else's needs. Stand up for yourself. You are important.